


Bajo el Mismo Techo

by morguevampire



Category: Burnt (2015)
Genre: (no im not), Angst, M/M, So much angst, Tony is exhausted, and snot, i couldn't sleep last night, im sorry, there are tears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 20:36:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21380221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morguevampire/pseuds/morguevampire
Summary: Who could have thought that months of pure bliss and happiness with Adam Jones would lead to this moment?
Relationships: Tony Balerdi/Adam Jones
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	Bajo el Mismo Techo

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, very short and very random but I had trouble falling asleep so it happened. It's a lot of angst. I wanted to continue but found it difficult in one sitting - i might write a part two or something sometime but for now - i give you this. 
> 
> Title is from a song by Carlos Sadness feat. Zahara that i really like and that fits. 
> 
> As always, English is not my mother tongue and i appreciate all criticism and make me aware of grammar, spelling, whatever mistakes :) 
> 
> Viel Spaß!

Tony gave them longer than this. Yes, he might have been blinded by love and an optimistic fool but they went through almost five months of absolute bliss, so who would blame him for being so naive.

They did all the annoying couple things. They went on dates and long walks and had little discussions over what movie to put on when they decided to have a cozy night in. Adam even practically moved into Tony’s apartment. He had his toothbrush there, his extra set of knives and all of his two shirts.   
Fleeting touches, sneaky kisses and longing looks at work were on the daily agenda and they had such incredible sex. They were happy. They knew it and everybody else in the Langham saw that as well.

As Tony lies, alone in bed, thinking about all these good, even wonderful times with Adam bloody Jones, he wonders when it all went to shit.

It’s not like they fight constantly or cheated on each other – at least Tony hopes so. It’s just that in the past month something changed, and Tony can’t for the life of him explain it in any way other than that Adam Jones has fallen out of love with him.

Or perhaps never fell in love with him in the first place and rather just needed, like so many times before, a quick shag. Somebody to come back to after a particular exhausting day.

Adam still comes to Tony’s apartment every night. There was a time when they would leave work together, be brave and hold hands on the tube home and fall into bed completely exhausted or treat themselves to a shared bath, lazily washing and jerking each other off.   
But now it’s usually Tony trying to sit by his desk in the office as long as possible until he’s too annoyed at the financial balance sheets and the sound of Adam still shuffling around and frying fucking scampi at almost 2 a.m. in the morning when all the rest of the staff has long gone.

So, he goes home when he’s done with his work, without Adam, into the chilly London air and lies in bed, awake, thoughts going around and around, trying to decipher what he did wrong to make Adam so unparticipating, so unfeeling in their relationship and leave him feeling so lonely.

The thing is, Tony knows what loneliness feels like. Gosh, he could write a novel about it. Spending the last 10 years without a serious relationship, always longing for somebody he at one-point thought was dead only for him to show up again and bring up all the feelings once more. Tony learned to deal with the loneliness, learned to focus on work and distract himself from it. But this type of loneliness. Feeling completely left alone, while being in a relationship. Feeling cold at night while a body falls into bed next to you at around 3ish, completely exhausted and not even acknowledging you, just to wake up the next morning with Adam already being gone, off to the fish market or already making pasta in the kitchen. It’s torture. And he’s not sure he can take it much longer.

No more first coffees of the day sipped slowly with Adam making fun of Tony’s bed hair and grumpy attitude. No more fussing about breakfast _“You need to eat babe. Breakfast is the most important meal, especially if it’s cooked by me.”   
_Not even lazy mornings and slow sex on their days off, simply because Adam refuses to actually take the day off or is too exhausted to do anything besides sleep through the eternity of it. 

Tony needs to end this. He needs to take matters in his hands and do what has to be done, let Adam Jones go. Tell him he understands. Adam never really knew what he was getting into. Adam is like a wild animal and feels caged. He was never loved. He never learned how to love. And maybe he has realized now, that love just isn’t made for him. That Tony isn’t what he needs.  
With this realization hitting Tony, the door to the apartment opens.  
He doesn’t need to look at the watch on the bedside table to know it’s almost three in the morning. He simply turns on his side, and when he feels the bed dip and hears Adam sigh, falling down next to him, Tony has to press his eyes together and hold in a whimper. He wishes they had more time. Or that he didn’t take the 5 months of bliss for granted.

Or that Adam would just hold him, for one last time. Tell him everything will be alright and they’ll find their old dynamic again. Tony being helplessly in love and Adam just being Adam. Taking but never giving.

Tony tries to shut up his mind, he really does. Tries to sleep, god knows he needs the rest. But his heart aches and his chest feels too tight and he can feel Adam’s heat behind him but knows he can’t touch, shouldn’t touch, shouldn’t hope. His thoughts are haunting him and at last he can’t hold it in anymore. It is too much, he’s trying to be quiet, he’s trying to tell his stupid body to shut up, but the tears are flowing and more and more whimpers escape his tightly pressed together lips.

“Tones...” Adam’s voice is too loud. A scream in a quiet library. “You alright?”

_No, not at all, you bastard. _“Yeah.” It sounds pathetic. A mixture between an actual word and a whimper.

Tony feels a hand on his shoulder, trying to turn him around, but he’s too embarrassed, too exhausted to do this now. The touch enhances the longing and suddenly there’s more crying, still trying to be suppressed but failing miserably by the second.

“Hey, hey… it’s ok darling.” Adam is rubbing circles on his back now. “Come here.”

His voice is so tender, so soft. In Tony’s brain it almost sounds as if he was not really there and it’s only a dream. Maybe it is and maybe Tony needs this dream. Needs to indulge one last time. Take it before it’s gone.

This thought, the final blow, leads him to give him. He lets out a sort of cry and turns around abruptly, nestling his head in Adam’s chest. Crying, sobbing, shaking while Adam holds him tight. Whispers sweet nothings, because that’s all they are. Assurances that will mean nothing come tomorrow.

“Shhhh, it’s going to be alright. You’re alright.”

With every assurance another brick of the wall Tony has built around him falls and he cries harder.

He feels Adam kissing the crown of his head, feels his t-shirt getting wetter from the tears and snot. What a tragic pair they must make. Tony holding on for dear life, being a complete mess in a man’s arm. A man who doesn’t understand what is happening. Who tries to fix what he has already broken.


End file.
